Home Improvement


Our house will never make it on HGTV, but that’s no deterrent. This time of year, I’m driven to home improvement against the odds. During the past few weeks of do-it-yourself drudgery, I’ve discovered a handful of universal truths.

Homeowner Maxims

  • Washing windows in the Great Basin is a Zen practice — appreciate the process because the result will be short-lived.
  • Never buy cheaply made garage doors. Even if you don’t regret it, someone else will.
  • Always, always, always drill a “through-hole” when screwing down decking. If you don’t know what that is, find out before cursing future generations.
  • Paint will not hold your house together, no matter how much is applied. To really hold a house together, you need baling wire and duct tape.